Why We Hate Gym

I have Gym this semester (feel sorry for me if you have any feelings whatsoever) and we also have a new gym teacher, Mrs. Griffiths.

One of the few ways to describe the woman is a Nazi Barbie. She actually modeled for Barbie when she was younger, but has HUGE muscles and is stricter than I had thought was possible when one is teaching Middle School Physical education.

 Last year, we didn't have to swim if we guilt tripped our parents into signing the Ice Skating form and coughing up thirty dollars. Not this year, under Griffiths. First of all, you must have an A (which almost no one has unless they ice skate because they dread PE so much), then, even if you are one of those insane students who have something like a 4.3, you can't do more than two sessions. And they have to be in a row. So you have to do at least one swimming session and one Gym session. Ugh.

Another awful thing about this teacher is that she is so strict about dressing. You don't get Participation Points if you don't have a Sweatsuit and Sweat Towel with you on Monday, when you are apparently supposed to wash everything, even though you're only going to ever use three things: a shirt, shorts, and shoes.

 Plus, she closes the locker room on Monday, and makes us go straight to the gym, as if we're not going to wash our stinky clothes. Thank you for your confidence, Coach Griffiths. Come on, we're not filthy, with no regard to hygiene, like, well, eighth grade BOYS, for instance.

Dress Code

My school is very strict about dress code. They go on and on about it at back to school night, from the length of shorts to the cut of shirts. But what I didn't expect was their stupid rule about leggings.

My mother survived the 80s, so she thought a short dress and leggings was perfectly fine and acceptable, because it IS, and got me the outfit. But when I wore it to school a teacher decided that I was being a rebel and breaking the dress code.

"That is INappropriate!" she cries, and when I lean down to measure the length of the leggings, which go down past my knee, she starts yelling at me to stop leaning down to try and make the dress look longer. It is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

My mom heard this and started ranting about how this teacher obviously hadn't paid attention to the 80s because that is simply how girls survived. My dad told me he would buy me another outfit just like it, and if anyone yelled at me, I should ask them their name and tell them that my lawyer (AKA my father) would be getting in touch with them. 

I got two pairs of skinny jeans, the tightest jeans I know of, and will wear them with the dress and see how the overreacting teacher responds. The jeans are probably as tight as the 'revealing' leggings. Revenge will be mine. 

Contacts

I got contacts today, and I can finally see for the first time since second grade without absurdly chunky glasses. It is amazing.

The first thing I had to learn with contacts was how to get the things in without poking myself in the eye like an idiot. It always seemed simple. Until I had to do it. I have to pull my lashes up and out of the way so I don't blink on my contact, then do the same with my middle finger on my bottom lash. Next I have to gently push the contact onto my eye with my index finger. Without flattening it, ripping it, breaking it, or getting my finger stuck in my eye.

It also seems way too easy to put in the contact upside down. The only way to tell is to look for some minuscule, almost transparent numbers on the outside of the tiny little bowl, or look if there is a tiny flare on the outside of our bowl. I'll never put it in right side up every single time. It also feels like being stabbed with steak knives if you do happen to put them in wrong.

It is also important to clean the lenses every day, since they are now practically my eyes. It reminds me of the Greek myth about the three sisters with only one eye between the three of them. My doctor gave me a long lecture about how it can't touch water, how it has to stay in the solution for at least six hours, how 'easy' it is to put it in and take it out, how your hands and everything used in going near the contacts has to be as clean as possible, and how to toss the things the second the two week deadline hits.

Oh, yeah. Contacts are no problem. Who wants to bet I'll poke myself in the eye, put the contact in backwards, and blink on the thing all in the same time?

Update: I love contacts, and can't imagine relying on glasses again. They have become as natural as breathing and highly recommend this amazing technology to anyone with impaired vision, on any level. I am virtually blind without my beloved contacts now.

Toddlers

And the alarm should go off in 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . .

“Mamaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”

I was currently staying in Michigan, visiting family for a week. During that week, my mother, my brother, and I were staying in a chalet with my 6 year old cousin, Charlie.

Charlie, like most kindergartners, was hyper, resolute, and exceptionally loud. She had beautiful blonde hair that was, unfortunately, extraordinarily curly. When I was her age, I was a brunette with long, straight hair. I screamed and cried every time my mother so much as hinted that she was going to try to comb my hair. I cannot imagine what my poor parents would have gone through if my hair was curly. Especially as a child who detested getting their hair brushed, making outrageous mats form.

Unfortunate Charlie went through the exact same thing I did. But, as she hops eagerly out of bed at 6:00 AM, she serves as my personal alarm clock. Lucky me.

After I was sure there was no possible chance of falling back to sleep, I resolved to heave myself out of my nice, warm bed. I was still half asleep as I trudged down the stairs, past a screaming little girl, and to the bathroom to take a nice warm shower.

Forty minutes later, feeling clean, refreshed, and almost awake, I flounced out of the shower over to Charlie, who was determined to hold a grudge against her mother and finally quiet.

Aw, I thought with affection, she is so adorable! Was I ever that cute?

Then I remembered my alarm. All the same, I thought, I’d rather wake up to my radio alarm.

Sarah

My friend from Moab, Sarah, is visiting us for 2 weeks. We are going to a writing camp and learning to blog.We are going to take her to the pool, our rock climbing gym, go shopping, go to a movie, go to a water park, play with the dog, and other things. 

She is also coming with me to a Girl Scout Camp next week. We are going to do pottery, sketches, photography, and other things. After that, I am going to her house in Moab. I don't know what I am doing there, but we will probably be going hiking or swimming. It will be fun!

Lost

As all of my family and friends know, I have a completely horrible sense of direction. So, naturally, while walking to my grandmother's house from the U campus where I was taking a writing class, I got lost.

I hadn't gone down the hill soon enough, and I was used to getting to the house from President Circle. So, of course, I couldn't find President Circle. I ended up in an alley behind the houses, and my mom had to talk me through the entire thing. A 15 minute walk ended up taking an hour. I had to walk aimlessly without water. In 100 degree weather. I died.

My mom is sending me with a map highlighted in neon yellow tomorrow. The U campus is the biggest campus I've ever seen. I think that Westminster, a nice, small, private college is more of my style. It takes about ten minutes to walk from one side to the other. 

Plus, there's a nice gelato place just around the corner. I might go there.